Scars: The New Beauty Standard
As an avid reader, I often encounter passages that resonate deeply, altering my perspective on life. This profound experience happens unexpectedly, leaving me breathless. It’s as if everything familiar—my bed, mirror, table, and chair—transforms because something within me has changed.
Recently, I had one of these transformative moments. It was a random evening, and I decided to unwind with some reading. I stumbled upon a random book excerpt. The story was a typical love story, but something was different—the protagonist was a cicatrixphile.
Now, you won't find this term on Google because it's made-up, much like Phoebe Buffay's "floopy" or Joey Tribbiani's "moo-point" from *Friends*. Derived from "cicatrix" (a medical term for scar) and the Greek suffix "-phile" (lover of or enthusiast), a cicatrixphile is someone who finds scars attractive.
In conversations with my female friends, I've heard them express attraction to men with scars, associating it with virility. I always thought scars were a physical manifestation of this quality. However, this was the first time I read about a guy finding scars on girls attractive, viewing them as marks of a warrior.
So, what's so exhilarating about this? The epiphany lies in how we've been conditioned. Many girls are raised with the notion that their skin should be flawless, unmarred by scars. There were even rituals in some parts of India where girls had to display their bodies to prospective in-laws, who scrutinized them for any blemishes or disabilities. Scars often led to questions and justifications from the girl's family.
To be honest, I have been in this situation. I used to be clumsy and some relatives told me that nobody would marry me because of my scars. They thought I might get rejected for not looking attractive enough. I laughed it off, telling them it would be a blessing in disguise—I didn’t want a partner or family so focused on physical appearance. I had almost forgotten about these incidents until I read that statement in the book. It was like a light washing over me. I have never felt less because of my scars. If you know me, you know I wear them proudly. Yet, this statement soothed me. I can only imagine the impact it would have on someone who needs to hear it.
This perspective is for everyone who has felt they aren't enough. Every feature you feel self-conscious about, every trait you've been made to feel small for, could be exactly what someone finds captivating.
When you look in the mirror and see flaws—whether it's a lack of muscles, a muffin top, saggy breasts, dark circles, dark lips, a small nose, a big nose, different ears, different eyes, being too skinny, being fat, love handles, or anything else you've been made to feel indifferent about—remember this: if someone can be into scars, there are people who will appreciate all the things you think are wrong with you.
It's different if you want to change something for health reasons, but your skin color, scars, birthmarks, or moles are significant parts of you. They contribute to your essence. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, make you feel less for having them. These features could be precisely what leads you to your partner or friends.
You've heard it said that you will be perfect for the right person. It's true. You will be. This is a sign that any partner or friend you choose will value you as long as you don't diminish yourself.
Embrace who you are, and let others do the same.
Love and light..🍀💜
#SelfAcceptance #BodyPositivity #EmbraceYourScars #MentalHealth